evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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