Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
