It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
