you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't deserve a penis
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
