Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
