Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize