dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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