He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
