I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
