you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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