let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
