ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
