I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
