hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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