Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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