I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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