Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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