so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize