Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
