i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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