just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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