See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
