Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize