FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
