I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
