Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
