Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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