There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
