I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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