So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
