Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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