I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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