it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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