What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
