He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
