I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
