Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You ruined the universe
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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