So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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