watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize