Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Who died my cat blue again?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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