True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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