I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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