She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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