OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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