Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
