Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
