Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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