i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just want nice things and good sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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