ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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