If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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