You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
