This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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