spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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