I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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