YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
