Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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