So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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